Steps Islam has taken to regulate Sexual Desire
Islam prohibitseverything which arouses one sexually -except what occurs between spouses- forfear that a person would do what is unlawful. The following steps are carriedout in Islam to prevent one from becoming sexually aroused.
1. Separatingchildren in their sleeping places. The Prophet (r) said:
'Command your children to perform prayers when theyare seven, and beat them [if they do not perform prayer]when they are ten, and separate them in their sleeping places.'
(Abu Dawood)
This is to prevent anything that would arousethem sexually while they are asleep.
Islam orders Muslim women to wear Hijab and notto socialize with non-Mahram men, so that they can preserve their chastity and avoid arousing their sexualdesires. Allah (I) says:
(O Prophet! Tell yourwives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks [veils] all overtheir bodies. That will be better, that they should be known [asrespectable women] so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, MostMerciful.) (33:59)
Islam has made itlawful for elderly women, who neither desire marriage, nor are desired byothers, to take off their outer garment. Allah (I) says:
(And as for women pastchildbearing who do not expect wedlock, it is no sinon them if they discard their [outer]clothingin such a way as not to show their adornment. But to refrain [i.e. not todiscard their outer clothing] is better for them. And Allah is All-Hearer,All-Knower.) (24:60)
2. Lowering thegaze. The Muslim is ordered to lower his gaze and not look at prohibited things; for fear that a person would starepassionately after the initial look, and then imagine, and finally do theunlawful. Allah I says:
(Tell the believing men to lower their gaze [from looking at forbidden things], and protect their private parts [fromillegal sexual acts]. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware ofwhat they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze [fromlooking at forbidden things], and protect their private parts [from illegalsexual acts] and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparentand to draw their veils all over their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, and notto reveal their adornment except to their husbands or their fathers, or theirhusband's fathers, or their sons, or their husband's sons, or their brothers ortheir brother's sons, or their sister's son, or their [Muslim]women, or the [female]slaves whom their right hands possess, or oldmale servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of femininesex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of theiradornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you, O believers, that you maybe successful.) (24:30-1)
Ibn al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy on him, said
'Since [fornication] stems from what one sees, thecommand to lower the gaze is given precedence over safeguarding one's privateparts [i.e. to be chaste]. All incidents stem from what one sees;similarly, a fire starts with small sparks. An unlawful look, evolves into athought [in the heart] which leads one to action and finally to the sinitself. That is why it is said:
'Whoever safeguards these four things preserves his Deen; hiseyesight, thoughts, utterances, and actions.'
One may happen to glance at something unlawful, but it is prohibited forhim to look at it intently or the second time.
The Prophet (r) said to Ali (t):
'O Ali, do not look over and over. You would not bechastised on account of the first glance, but would be chastised on account ofthe second.'
In order toencourage Muslims to lower their gaze, the Prophet (r) stated the reward a Muslim receives when he lowers his gaze out offear of Allah and in hope of His reward. He (r) said:
'A glance is similar to a poisoned arrow of Iblees; whoeverleaves it due to fear of Allah and to seek His pleasure receives reward; hisIman [increases], the pleasure of which he feels inhis heart.' (Haakim)
3. Seekingpermission before entering upon someone, so that he would not see somethingwhich is unlawful. Allah (I) says:
(O you who believe! Let your slaves and slave girls, and those among youwho have not reached puberty ask your permission [before they come to your presence] on three occasions: before Fajr [MorningPrayer], and while you put off your clothes for the noonday [rest],and after the Isha [late night prayer]. These three times are of privacyfor you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about,attending to each other. Thus Allah makes clear the verses of this Qur'an [showingproofs for the legal aspect of permission for visits to you]. And Allah isAll-Knowing, All-Wise.) (24:58)
Allah (I) says:
(And when the childrenamong you reach the age of puberty, then let them [also] seek permission,as those senior to them [in age]. Thus Allah makes clear His Ayaatfor you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.) (24:59)
4. Islam prohibitsmen to imitate women and women to imitate men. Ibn Abbas (y) said:
'The Messenger of Allah (r) cursed men who imitate women and women who imitate men.' (Bukhari)
5. Islam prohibits looking at things whicharouse one sexually,such as evil pictures. Abdurrahmaan b. Abi Sa'eed al-Khudri (t) said that his fathersaid that the Prophet (r) said:
'A man should not lookat another man's private parts, nor should a woman look at another's private parts.Two men should not lay naked under one garment, and two women should not laynaked under one garment.' (Muslim)
6. Listening to things which arouse onesexually, such as music.Music usually provokes one to do evil and arouses theindividual sexually. The scholars were truthful in their statement about music,when they said: ‘Music leads to fornication.'
7. The Prophet (r) forbade sitting withyouth [whohave no hair growing on their faces] and looking at them intensely,especially if they are attractive. Abu Hurairah (t) said that theProphet (r) said:
'The son of Adam willcommit his due share of fornication. The eyes fornicate and their fornication islooking at prohibited things. The ears fornicate and their fornication is listeningto prohibited things. The tongue fornicates and its fornication is speaking towomen strangers. The hand fornicates and its fornication is to touch unlawful things.The feet fornicate and their fornication is walking to the prohibited. Theheart wishes and desires; thereafter, one may actually fornicate or come closeto doing it.' (Muslim)
8. The Prophet (r) forbade secludingoneself with a woman [stranger].For a person may fall prey to satanic desires and fornicate with her. TheProphet (r) said:
'Let not one of youseclude himself with a woman [stranger], for Satan would be theirthird.' (Ibn Hibban)
Free intermingling between both sexes isprohibited in Islam, for prohibited relationships may result; all that leads tothe prohibited is prohibited as well.
Muhammad Qutb said inhis book 'Man between Materialism and Islam':
'Innocent coeducation was a great myth that originated from the West.When the West headed to secularism [and lost itsideals] and aimed to treat sexual tension, the sociologists andpsychologists presented the pros and benefits of coeducation. Thereafter theWest realized the fallacies of these values and benefits. Psychiatrists andpsychologists withdrew their opinions regarding coeducation, and stated thatslow dances, innocent parties, mixed tea parties and picnics even under the supervisionof parents arouse one's desire. If these desires are suppressed due to socialcircumstances or shyness, this creates mental and nervous anxiety after thecalmness one feels during these occasions. In this case, the youth resorts toone of two things; either to go to a place where he can do these things withoutthe barriers present, or reside in this state of anxiety which leads to certaindisorders. Therefore, what kind of innocence and nurturing is this?’
9. Islam prohibits a woman to describe anotherwoman to her husbandfor fear that he may dislike his wife on account of that. Some qualities whichhis wife tells to him about her may be preferable to him and are not present inhis wife. Satan may even provoke him to seek this woman. Abdullah b. Masood (t) said that theMessenger of Allah (r) said:
'A woman should not sitwith another woman in order to describe her to her husband as though he is lookingat her.'
(AbuDawood)
10. Women are forbidden to leave their homeswhile they are perfumed and beautified, for this would cause people to look at them,and lead to the unlawful. Allah (I) says:
(And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of thetimes of ignorance.) (33:33)
She is also prohibited to speak softly in asubmissive tone; this safeguards her from weak men who desire fornication. A womanshould talk to men (strangers) when needed only, and when she does, she shouldnot talk in a flirtatious manner.
Allah (I) says:
(Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease [of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery] should be moved withdesire, but speak in an honorable manner.) (33:32)
Allah (I) says:
(And when you ask [the Prophet’s wives] foranything you want, ask them from behind a screen: that is purer for your heartsand for their hearts.) (33:53)
Islam forbidsnudity and the displaying of woman’s adornments. Allah (I) says:
(O Children of Adam! Wehave indeed bestowed upon you clothing to cover your shame [i.e. private parts] and as [a thing of] beauty and theclothing of piety is the best of all. That is one of the signs of Allah thatthey may remember.) (7:26)
Abu Hurairah (y) said that the Messenger of Allah (r) said:
'There are two typesof people who belong to Hell-Fire, whom I have not yet seen; people, who havewhips similar to cattle's ears, with which they hit people. And women who are clothedyet unclothed; and walk in a seductive way, and do not obey Allah. Their headsare similar to a limp Bactrian camel's hump. They will not enter Jannah,and its scent can be smelt from a distance.' (Muslim)
Islam clarifies with whom the woman is allowedto uncover her apparent adornment. Allah (I) says:
(And tell the believing women to lower their gaze [from looking at forbidden things] and protect their private parts [fromillegal sexual acts] and not to show off their adornment except only thatwhich is apparent and to draw their veils all over their bodies, faces, necksand bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, ortheir fathers or their husband's fathers or their sons, or their husband'ssons, or their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sister's sons, ortheir Muslim women or the female slaves whom their right hands possess, or oldmale servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of femininesex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of theiradornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you, O believers, that you maybe successful.) (24:31)
11. It isprohibited for the woman to travel alone, without Mahram(male guardian) such as the husband, father, brother, or relative whois prohibited for her to marry. The Messenger of Allah (r) said:
'A man should not sitin seclusion with a woman [stranger], nor should she travel without Mahram.'A man then asked the Prophet (r): 'O Messenger of Allah (r) I have enlisted to go in such and such battle, and my wife has leftto make Hajj!’ The Prophet (r) said: 'Go make Hajj with your wife.'
(Bukhari)
The wisdom behindthis is to preserve and safeguard the woman's chastity, for usually travelingis not easy, and requires many things, and the woman is weak in this regard dueto the fact that she menstruates, becomes pregnant, and breast-feeds her child.Furthermore, a woman may be deceived easier than a man, for she may be affectedby her surroundings. Therefore, during travel, she is in need of a person whosafeguards and protects her from those who wish to harm her in any way, or takeher money. She is also in need of someone who provides her with her needs, andensures her total comfort. The Mahram is obliged to do all this, so shewould not require the assistance of a stranger.
12. The Prophet (r) commanded Muslims to approach their wives if they see a woman whostimulates their sexual desire, in order to relieve themselves from this desirein a lawful manner. By doing this, he safeguards himself from fallinginto evil, and rids himself of the whispering of Satan. The Messenger of Allah (r) said:
'The woman comes in a shape similar to Satan, and goes in a shape similarto Satan[6].' (Muslim)
13. Islam commands both spouses to satisfy each other's sexual desire wheneither spouse desires. It is prohibited for a woman torefuse her husband's request when he wants to satisfy his sexual desire; sincethis would lead him to evil. He may search for other methods to satisfy hisdesire, or develop mental pressure, and both are detrimental to health. TheProphet (r) said:
'If the husband calls his wife to sleep with him, and she refuses; and hesleeps that night angry with her, the Angels curse her until the morning.' (Abu Dawood)
The husband must also satisfy his wife'sdesires in order to protect and safeguard her from evils. Imam Ibn Hazm, may Allahhave mercy on him, said:
'It is a duty of thehusband to have intercourse with his wife, when she becomes purified if he iscapable of doing so; otherwise, he is a sinner. The proof of this is in thewords of Allah (I):
(And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allahhas ordained for you.) (2:222)
Due to the severity of this matter, if thehusband does not fulfill the wife's desire, she can raise her matter to the Shari'ahcourts - if needed - so that she can take her due rights. This maintains thesafeness of society from all evils.
Those who love to see evil become widespreadin community have indeed been threatened by Allah with a most severe punishment.He (I)says:
(Verily, those who like that [the crime of]illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe, theywill have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allah knowsand you know not.)
(24:19)
If this is the punishmentof those who like illicit relations to become apparent (in society), what isthe punishment of those who engage in it and help spread it in society?
i.e. men sheis allowed to marry. (AM)
this appliesto men and women. (AM)
Al-Jawabal-Kafi leman sa'ala an ad-dawaa' ash-shafee (The Adequate Answer for himwho asks for the Curative Remedy) pg. 232
this is thestatement of Fudail b. 'Iyaad, may Allah have mercy on him, and is narrated byIbn Abid-Dunya and al-Baihaqi. (AM)
this appliesto men as well. (AM)
looking atwomen intently would certainly lead one to evil. (AM)
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